The Last.

Everyone always seems to say that I am once a strong person. Always fight for herself and so on so forth. But was that the real me? Do you even know what is the real me?

I put on a cheerful smile to conceal my sadness. I put on a cheerful smile to not get bullied. I put on a cheerful smile to act as if everything is ok. But no.. I am not ok. I am never ok. The thought of suicide just keeps coming back stronger and stronger everytime I tear or feel sad or feel lost.

While I was running earlier on to clear my head, but it isn't working well. I just wanted to run into those metal cable and just get my head cut off. But I thought about my loved ones, my siblings, my bf, my best friends and do my best to stop all those thoughts.

I'm not a strong person, I never am. Just cause you seem to know me, might not be the real me. I'm tired of putting up all this cheerful front. I need a breather. Perhaps whatever I do was never correct, the problem will always be me.

I'm such a loser.