Easily manipulated

When i'm upset, I just binged on good food. Cheese stick from Hokkaido fair.

As the title says so. Yes. Me.
Before I start typing or whatsoever, disclaimers will be added.
*Not referring to anyone in particular, just basically people revolving me. & no this is not school related at all.
Just like close ones etc. So here goes:




At times, I felt really easily manipulated. And today, out of a sudden, from no where a sudden thought just triggered my angst button. Unexpectedly, YES.
I came to think of things like, 'why am I always the one that goes to find my friends or love ones but never them coming to find me'.
Taken for granted much?
And then further thoughts like 'I know I needed those extra cash but I stopped working due to reasons and put myself in such a difficult spot that this month I don't even know how to survive'.
I'm left with like $100 for the month, tell me. HOW TO SURVIVE.
Thanks to those bills. Anyway...
And another thought goes like 'why can't anyone keep their promises at all (something which really pisses me off)'.


So today, I just plunged into something, I know it is going to screw up my whole schedule set a month ago and stuff, but I really need a stable job if someone is well, shall not say. -zips-
I went to an interview at Cawaii Kohii today for the position of a part-time meido.
All along I have been a fan of anime and manga and whatever japp-ish you name it. I tell you.
Well, not exactly on the spot, but near the line. You get what I mean.


Yes, I did got that job which will take up 4 days of my week.
Meaning lesser time to accompany the boy or any friends.
But to think that, this is actually the first time I did something thinking about my own interest instead of others.
I know I needed the spare cash, I need a stable job, not those events job that is killing me.
Even thou this job does not provide meals despite being in the f&b industry(1st time I heard of), but hey. The people there are friendly. And yes, the meidos there have to do cooking and washing.
Pathetic? IKR. But, it's good cause basically able to pick up some cooking skills so that I can whip up dishes at home in any case the maid doesn't cook.


So i'm basically throwing aside my bf and friends just to work hard and try to survive till August arrives.
Work will commence next week usually holding the 5pm shift on weekdays and one opening shift on Wednesday before I have to rush to school (in my meido uniform -_-) 
I'm so gonna be judged. But let's just set that aside and try to juggle school, work and leisure.
I know it's going to be tough and that exams are in fact nearing soon.
But I will do my best not to disappoint myself.


So Denise. GAMBETEI! Time to think for yourself and not others.
Not this time, i'm sick of it already.
Really. SICK is the word to describe how I am feeling now.
But whatever.
Just gotta really work towards my goal even if it seems bleak in the theory wise.
But I will get past it.